This feeling of dread is contaminating me, again and again.

People fascinate and disgust me at the same time. I can spend hours observing faces of strangers.

My limbs are craving more sleep; mental effort is failing when you have slept only 3 hours. I am straining my physical condition at the utmost on a daily basis. Very unhealthy. Not even 10 litres of black coffee could hold me on my feet. I am having daydreams of cosy and warm blankets.

I don't know what to do when friends are willingly, or maybe unconsiously, detaching from my world. It is impossible to try and equate the scale forever. There is no balance if weights are poles apart. Maybe relationships of any kind might fade someday, while others get stronger.


Listening to: Tricky - Black Coffee